Although we were simply acquaintances, restrictee buddies, Fed House regulars, I knew you were the type of person who believed in something more, something greater than self. I could tell you had a great heart and passion for bettering the world. Quiet. Resilient. Cynical, for good reason. Humble. Abby and I literally just saw you this past Friday and now you’re gone. I regret for not getting to know you more. We just simply had Hello encounters and bantering about shared in misery during tours haha. You are a great guy with a warm smile. And I still cannot believe you’re gone. I was looking forward to getting to know you better outside of restriction. I’m sorry. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m so mad. I don’t know why I’m stirred up by this. No one ever wants to see a great guy leave this world so…tragically. We’ll always remember you. We love you. We miss you. We’ll celebrate you.
Forever in my prayers (even if you are atheist),
This may be an overused saying. But when you least expect it, these few simple words reveal its worth. Like a wind chill seeping through your skin igniting goosebumps, you begin to understand the meaning of cold or dashing through the finishing line is when you realize the meaning of a sense of accomplishment. Or meeting a person, a simple person, who you never quite got to fully know but the encounters you had with this person assures you that nothing but good radiates from his smile, from his laugh, from his manner, from his soul. And he is gone the next day. Then, you begin to realize life is short.
So life. Sure, we may eventually achieve our goals despite a wave of failures and defeat, reach the next level of our climb to success while getting thrown setbacks, fall in love and then fall out of love, face disappointments and experience pure joy and bliss, but at the end of the day, there’s still an emptiness to us all. Or maybe are we just blind to see that the answer is right in front of us? It’s simple. Life is too short because time with the people who touch our hearts, our minds, our soul is not be enough. Time. A luxury to value.
When we notice the people who touched our souls, we begin to fully realize the worth of our lives. We may not realize it now, but we are a piece of magic, a spark we light with every encounter we have with another. It’s the question to if life mattered at all. We will never know until we are gone. Life is too short. So make every second, every minute, every moment count.
I’m going to try something out and just try to dip my feet into writing without any reservation. Ah, how scary yet exhilarating. I must admit I haven’t written a decent paper for couple of years, so my writing skills maybe quite embarrassing for syntax lovers.
Maybe through these short, or long, tibits (depending on the day), I can trace back to finding how events roll into the present.
(Feb 13 2014)
It’s truly remarkable how something can impact your day to day trials to such a multitude, and realize it is not permanent unless I choose to hold on.
The last day of 2013
What I learned.
It is all simple. Yet, I tend to make it complicated, trying to “do me” and just have a “fuck it” mentality. I must admit, it was fun but at the end of the day, it slowly destroyed me. Remaining the same fucked me over I guess. To change that, I will focus to clear my mind. I know this will not be an easy task. But it’s a change I need to make in order to turn around. To admit to my own flaws wasn’t easy for my stubborn self. 2014 will be a change. It will be a year worth fighting for. A year to sharpen the saw. A year to move forward and take no shit from anyone and from myself. A voice will erupt. A presence will be known. My identity will be revealed.
— Dalai Lama